Confessions of a Political Junkie has obtained the first executive order to be signed by the President of the United States since winning re-election:
“I, George W. Bush, do order the immediate extinction of CBS News and the New York Times. Bombing shall begin in ten minutes. Further, the White House Press Corp is ordered to the Old Executive Office Building. Current CBS News and New York Times White House reporters are ordered to Lafayette Park where they will mingle with other homeless people.
“The current press room shall be converted to a bathroom in honor of the typical questions asked by the media over the past century.
“So Ordered this this 3rd day of November, 2004.”