Natasha

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I mentioned my friend Natasha in the post below. She’s dwelling in my thoughts today. I don’t have any brothers, but there are two guys I consider the next best thing, one in particular, his name is Jason.

He came to visit this weekend. We went to that wedding together. Natasha, Jason, and I were very close in law school. We’d stay up all night together and hang out. Our first year of law school, the Monica Lewinsky scandal broke just before the Super Bowl and the scandal started brewing during the Super Bowl.

We pooled our money, skipped class, and (I) drove twelve hours to Washington in the middle of January just to be a part of it (told you I was a political junkie) listening to Green Day, The Offspring, and Blin 182, among others.

Jason and I now have a joke, the cruelty of which is filled with the humor of friends who can only miss one of their own without crying by being cruel in humor.

Natasha, who had a crush on me, insisted that Jason and I share a bed together and she’d have a bed to herself. So we did. In the middle of the night, she started taking pictures and trying to arrange us into suggestive damning poses. It was pretty funny.

Jason and I joke that our secret is safe now because the only person who knows anything is dust in the wind (she was cremated).

I miss her. I miss the youthful innocence from law school. A time when you were adult enough to have adult freedoms with the youthful ambition of a child to enjoy them. You can’t get that in college. It was a time of hard study, but of exhilarating fun too.

I’m glad my wife and I dated my last year of law school. As much as she was an anchor, she could be a part of the experience. She still has to listen to some of the recycled stories, but she was a part of some. And, she got to know Natasha, Jason, Will, and others while we were still there struggling, studying, and having fun.

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Erick Erickson

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  • It’s strange that you said that she had been in your thoughts lately. Every once in a while, a single thought or line will come to mind for me, and I will immediately think of her and sort of respond back to her in my mind. I did not know her as well as you and Jason, simply because I was not present for much of the time she was with you, but at these moments when I hear a word of encouragement in my mind, I feel that she is using me to take care of you. The first time it happened, I thought it was very strange, because she and I never had the chance to become close friends. As it continued to happen, I finally just accepted it and have grown to appreciate it. She can’t be here, but she would not want to leave you totally. I truly believe that her spirit, or whatever you want to call it, gives me a message from time to time to be good to you or to take good care of you.

    Also at times when I am the most nervous or unsure of myself, I will feel that she is encouraging me. It’s strange that it would be her spirit, rather than my Mom’s at these times. Mostly when you are having an especially tough time, I hear her words of encouragement and support. She makes sure that I take good care of you, and I am happy to have this connection, even if it’s not what you would consider traditional or mainstream. I think a part of her lives through us. That part of her that desired to be happy and contented and loved is able to exist somehow by seeing the amazing relationship that you and I share, and she “lives” as a part of that relationship by being an encourager to me in my attempt to be the best wife and friend to you that I can be.

    I’m glad that you wrote about her, because it finally gave me the impetus to tell you that I’ve felt her presence several times, and most recently last week sitting in my car thinking about the wedding that we were going to attend over the weekend. She is still looking out for you and although she never spoke these words to me while alive, it’s as though she uses certain moments to remind me of what is important in life.

By Erick Erickson

Erick Erickson

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