The Rubicon is a river that separated Gaul from Italy. Julius Caesar was commanded by the Roman Senate not to cross it back into Italy. When Caesar decided to seize power in the start of a civil war, he crossed the Rubicon and said the now famous phrase, “The die is cast.” So “crossing the rubicon” means to pass the point of no return.

At what point does a parent cross the rubicon in dealing with children. So often, parents convince themselves of their children’s righteousness. They cannot see the faults of their children despite crime and drugs and violence. At what point do the parents cross the rubicon from blind loyalty to demands for justice even at the expense of their child?

I have just dealt with a client who stole a car while on drugs for the third time. Each of the previous occassions and on many other occassions, his mother pleaded his innocence and demanded justice for her son.

Now on this final occassion it is as if the mother crossed the rubicon. At the expense of her son seeing her as his antagonist, she is on a crusade to have him locked up, medicated for mental disorders he apparently has, and treated for his drug addiction.

She no longer cares what her son thinks of her. She wants what is best for him. The situation has torn the family apart. Finally, however, my client has seen the worthiness of his mother’s desire and is willing to be helped.

Sometimes letting go is the only way to hold on to the things you cherish.